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Why Do My Relationships Never Last?

November 14, 2021

Many people ask themselves the same question: why don’t any of my relationships last? Of course, there can be many reasons why a relationship might end, such as wanting different things for the future, living far away from one another, or other compatibility issues.  Sometimes, a relationship coming to an end is a natural and inevitable outcome for two people, so it’s important not to blame yourself or feel that it is your fault if this does happen to you.  However, if you feel that this is happening with all of your relationships, and that you are struggling to keep one going for more than a couple of months, then there might be something you can do to help the situation.

 

This article will go over the key reasons why relationships don’t last, and what you can do to prevent this.

You’re overthinking it

One of the most common reasons for relationships not lasting is that we tend to think very deeply about the future of the relationship, or certain aspects of it, but often this is without coming to any productive solutions.  Going around in circles of ‘what if’ can cause us to become obsessed with things that aren’t even there, causing arguments and breakdowns in communication that are difficult to overcome.  It is important to recognise these patterns before they become obsessive and cause the relationship to break down.

 You don’t know what you want out of the relationship

Sometimes we enter into relationships without really knowing what we want out of them, and this can cause friction when you realize your partner is taking the relationship in a direction that is different to what you want.  When entering into a relationship, try setting out your intentions and seeing if they align with the other person, so that you can make sure you are on the same page and that there are no surprises down the road. 

Your expectations are too specific

Many relationships run into trouble after the ‘honeymoon’ phase comes to an end, and this is often because when we don’t know our partner as well yet, we fill in all of the blanks with our own hopes and expectations for them.  This leads to a very specific set of expectations that your partner will most likely not be able to live up to – after all, they are more a projection of what you want, than an accurate reflection of your partner’s personality. Rather than letting your imagination run wild, accept that relationships are about learning about each other and growing together, and focus on that instead of your expectations.

The most important thing is that you recognize these key issues before they become big enough to end your relationship.  New relationships are exciting and fun, and moving past the initial stages can be a difficult transition period.  Remember to remain patient, and try to enjoy the more settled phase that we are able to access after the honeymoon period comes to an end!

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