Many people ask themselves the same question: why don’t any of my relationships last? Of
course, there can be many reasons why a relationship might end, such as wanting different
things for the future, living far away from one another, or other compatibility issues. Sometimes,
a relationship coming to an end is a natural and inevitable outcome for two people, so it’s
important not to blame yourself or feel that it is your fault if this does happen to you. However, if
you feel that this is happening with all of your relationships, and that you are struggling to keep
one going for more than a couple of months, then there might be something you can do to help
This article will go over the key reasons why relationships don’t last, and what you can do to
You’re overthinking it
One of the most common reasons for relationships not lasting is that we tend to think very
deeply about the future of the relationship, or certain aspects of it, but often this is without
coming to any productive solutions. Going around in circles of ‘what if’ can cause us to become
obsessed with things that aren’t even there, causing arguments and breakdowns in
communication that are difficult to overcome. It is important to recognise these patterns before
they become obsessive and cause the relationship to break down.
You don’t know what you want out of the relationship
Sometimes we enter into relationships without really knowing what we want out of them, and
this can cause friction when you realise your partner is taking the relationship in a direction that
is different to what you want. When entering into a relationship, try setting out your intentions
and seeing if they align with the other person, so that you can make sure you are on the same
page and that there are no surprises down the road.
Your expectations are too specific
Many relationships run into trouble after the ‘honeymoon’ phase comes to an end, and this is
often because when we don’t know our partner as well yet, we fill in all of the blanks with our
own hopes and expectations for them. This leads to a very specific set of expectations that your
partner will most likely not be able to live up to – after all, they are more a projection of what you
want, than an accurate reflection of your partner’s personality. Rather than letting your
imagination run wild, accept that relationships are about learning about each other and growing
together, and focus on that instead of your expectations.
The most important thing is that you recognise these key issues before they become big enough
to end your relationship. New relationships are exciting and fun, and moving past the initial
stages can be a difficult transition period. Remember to remain patient, and try to enjoy the
more settled phase that we are able to access after the honeymoon period comes to an end!