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Going on your first virtual date can be just as nerve-racking as going on a real life date. While some of us worry about what to talk about during the date, others wonder what not to ask on a first date. The same boundaries that apply to meeting in person should be applied to your virtual date. Here are some questions you might want to sidestep till you get to know the other person a little better.
Closed-ended questions
Close-ended questions stop the conversation because they only require a yes or no answer. While they have a place in conversations, close-ended questions can end a conversation pretty quickly. Aim for open-ended questions that keep the conversation flowing. Open-ended questions or statements, such as ‘Tell me about you’ give the other person a chance to decide on what they want to talk about.
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Loaded questions
Loaded questions such as ‘What do you think of my dress?’ should be avoided at all costs. Putting the other person on the spot during your first date will likely result in no second date. Additionally, if they do answer the question, you might not be happy with the answer.
What dating apps do you use?
Ask yourself what purpose this question serves. Does it add anything meaningful to the conversation? Very likely, this question does not add to a positive first date experience.
Additionally, some people may feel embarrassed that they are engaging in dating apps to look for a partner. Asking this question will only make your date feel more uncomfortable than he or she already is. You definitely don’t want to be racking your brain for conversational topics if your date goes silent on this question!
How come you’re still single?
This is another question that will not add to a positive first date experience. Asking someone why they’re still single just implies that there is something wrong with them. Unless your date has given it some real thought, it’s pretty hard to pinpoint the reason why someone might still be single.
Your date might feel that you are looking for his or her faults as to why they still do not have a serious partner. The key is to be sensitive enough to be able to consider how your date might feel.
How much did that cost?
Similar to real life, try your best not to ask how much your date takes home or how much any of their belongings (watch, home, luxury handbag) costs. Not only is it none of your business but you may also come across as shallow and tacky.
While you want to make sure that your future partner has the same priorities when it comes to finances, wait till your relationship is a little bit more mature. Find the right time to discuss things pertaining to money.
Questions about sex
Questions about sex definitely fall in the ‘what not to ask on a first date’ category. Yes, sex is important but it’s always best to get to know each other first before taking your relationship to the next level. You really do not need to find out the other person’s favorite sexual position on your first date.
Questions about sex also include questions such as ‘How many people have you slept with?’ It’s a question that makes people feel uncomfortable and whether they have had intimate relationships with one, a few, or none at all is none of your business.
If you are serious about getting into a long term, meaningful relationship and your date pressures you to take things physical before you are ready, then you might just want to see this as a red flag.
Why did you break up?
What happened in your date’s previous relationship is none of your business. Whether they had a divorce or was cheated on, it’s a question that should not be asked on a first date. Unless your date opens up and offers you details, steer clear of this topic no matter how curious you are.
Your date may also expect that you share your past dating experience if you ask this question. Ask yourself if you really want to talk about all your exes and past relationships on your first virtual date.
While it’s good to know what not to ask on a first date, stressing yourself out to make sure that you do not say something offensive will add to the pressure. The key is to be sensitive enough to avoid topics that might make your date uncomfortable. Alternatively, if you’re really worried about what not to say, you can plan your virtual date with some of these virtual date ideas and tips.
No matter how much you prepare, there are times when you and your date just don’t connect. Even though you are well prepared with conversation topics, date ideas and have side stepped potentially conversational killers, the connection just doesn’t seem to be happening. When this occurs, you might want to politely make your exit and end the virtual date.
How do you end a virtual date?
If the conversation has fizzled out or you’re just not feeling the spark, you don’t have to feel obliged to continue on with the date. The key to ending a virtual date is not complicated. All you have to do is to politely excuse yourself.
Just thank them and say that you need to go. For example, ‘Hey, it was great talking to you, but I really can’t talk much longer’ or ‘It was nice meeting you, but I have to go deal with something right now’.
While you should be mindful of your tone and your words, you do not need to stress out over leaving the conversation. If they do ask you on another date but you’re not feeling it, be honest and let them down gently.
On the other hand, if your virtual date behaves inappropriately, you do have every right to hang up immediately. Similar to dating in real life, you do not have to meet up a second time if you know that he or she is not the person for you.
One of the ways to avoid ending up on a virtual date with a weirdo is to use a trusted virtual dating platform that offers personalized matchmaking services. You can be assured that all potential dates are vetted by certified matchmakers that have your best interest at heart.
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Conclusion
First dates can be awkward enough as it is without having to deal with intrusive questions. Be sensitive enough to know what not to ask on a first date. If you’re in for the long haul, then spend some time getting to know the other person before bringing up intimate or personal topics. If you find yourself having a hard time thinking about what to talk about, here are some Exciting Virtual Date Questions that will Get the Sparks Flying.
