Stop Saying this to Men! Are you guilty of Toxic Masculinity?

November 18, 2022

What is your idea of a MAN? Have you thought about what being masculine means? Are you guilty of saying these toxic things to yourself or the men and boys in your life?  


In conjunction with International Men’s Day, I want to bring attention to damaging words, thoughts and concepts which should have no place in our society today. The so-called concept of ‘being a man’ perpetuates negative ideas on men themselves and those around them. Toxic masculinity is harmful, stigmatising and  completely unrealistic. Traditionally, characteristics  like physical strength, power, and earning capacity were prioritised.  This in turn made men more violent towards others, more pressured to be sole providers and more likely to hide their emotions.

Today, masculinity is  more about personal well being, relationships and authenticity. ‘Being a man’ is an ever- changing concept that is unique to each individual. There is simply no one way to ‘be a man’.


Overcoming Toxic Masculinity

Here are 4 things to stop saying to men and boys along with what to say instead.

Stop saying :

Oh just man up!

Instead say :

Sorry you are having a tough time. I am here to support you. I am sure we will find a way through this.

Stop saying :

Real men don’t cry.

Instead say :

It’s okay to cry and express your emotions. We are all human and I am here for you.

Stop saying:

Don’t be such a girl/ Don’t be such a weakling

Instead say:

Being afraid of something or not being able to do something well does not make you weak. You just need some time to learn/improve/get over your fears.

Stop saying :

That’s so gay!

Instead say:

Nothing. Just learn to  accept someone for who and what they are. 

Men and toxic masculinity

Being a man has nothing to do with how strong, powerful or tough you are. It is about being human, being wholesome and loving yourself.  It is time to support, cultivate and raise men who are free from such ridiculous notions.

I wish you a happy and healthy relationship with yourself and the men in your life. 

Happy International Men’s Day!

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